Friday, May 11, 2012

You Know You're Bourgie When...

...you've been invited to a ball or gala.

First, you have to thank the person who invited you. Not everyone gets to go to these uber bourgie events. Some people don't know how to act or dress for a fancy night out, so you should be honored that someone thought you could carry yourself appropriately.

Secondly, you need to make sure you are dressed appropriately. Find out the dress code. If it is black tie, you better make sure you are in black tie! For the fellahs, that means (gasp!) a tuxedo! If you don't own one (though every bourgie man should), you can always rent one. I'm not much of a fan of renting clothes, but there are very classy ways of doing so. If you are a gentleman who anticipates attending many black tie events over the course of a few years, you should definitely invest in a tux. Why rent when you can own? If you're a lady, you need to make sure you are AT LEAST in cocktail attire (unless there is any indication that this is improper for your event). "Black tie optional" typically means that it is a slightly more lenient dress code, thus enabling you to wear a cocktail dress.

Make sure you don't drink too much; you do not want to be known as the hot mess at the ball. If it is cash bar, you're probably less likely to be getting krunk anyway (hey, drinks at these events are not cheap). If it's open bar, that does not grant you permission to get sauced. Seriously.

Socialize, socialize, socialize! These events are typically great networking opportunities. If you don't know anyone besides your date, make sure you socialize with the other folks at your table (if you have one - though you probably will) at the very least. If you recognize others in the room, make it a point to talk to them. Don't hide!

Keep your phone on silent! I cannot begin to tell you how embarrassing it is for everyone if your phone goes off during an award acceptance speech. Rude! And that also means no tweeting during the event. Double rude!

Know what the event is all about. Even if you don't know anybody in the room, you should be able to speak intelligently about the event you're intending.

Have fun! It's not every day that you get to get all Cinderella/Prince Charming-ed out.

Look fierce. Be fierce. WERK.

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