Let me start out by saying that the mall is like Satan's bowels this time of year. People who are only allowed outside of the house one month of the year wander aimlessly through the mall, stopping at random points, blocking the way of anyone who is there for a purpose. Children run amok. The clerks at the recently-installed kiosks try to sell you every type of tchotchke known to man. Basically, this scene from Wednesday's "Up All Night":
That being said, I was in desperate need of a Bourgie Saturday evening.
To Bourgify my Saturday, I joined my family at a gourmet burger establishment. That's right, people. Gourmet burgers!
Red Robin!
Red Robin has some pretty delicious burgers, drinks (particularly of the non-alcoholic variety), and appetizers. Not typically a red meat eater, I was delighted that I could get any beef patty substituted with turkey, a BOCA burger, or a Gardenburger.
*I know what you're thinking: Pictures on the menu and bourgieness don't go together. It is a family-friendly establishment, so they kind of have to have pictures on the menu (though, I can't picture children eating any of the photographed items, but that's beside the point).
After much debate, and asking our waitress if this whole substitute thing was legit, I decided to go with the Bleu Ribbon Burger. It was really good! Heck, even the onion bun was good!
Bleu cheese, onion straws, lettuce, tomatoes, chipotle mayo...mmmmmm! With all of that in just the burger, the bottomless steak fries were an afterthought (which explains why I only had two - though they were yummy too).
Fact: The bourgier the burger, the more toppings. This automatically means you're not bourgie if you add anything to it (i.e. ketchup, mustard, mayo), because that's just tacky. Plus, where are you even going to put it?
My grandmother ordered the fish and chips, which were as good as fish and chips anywhere; my brother ordered the Whisky River BBQ Burger; my mom ordered the Bruschetta Chicken Sandwich; and my cousin had the BLT Croissant. Everyone enjoyed their food, as well as the Game Day Nachos. FYI, if you sign up for the customer reward card, you get a free appetizer the day you sign up!
In conclusion, go to Red Robin and love it.
8WGN6YF46FG7
That being said, I was in desperate need of a Bourgie Saturday evening.
To Bourgify my Saturday, I joined my family at a gourmet burger establishment. That's right, people. Gourmet burgers!
Red Robin!
*I know what you're thinking: Pictures on the menu and bourgieness don't go together. It is a family-friendly establishment, so they kind of have to have pictures on the menu (though, I can't picture children eating any of the photographed items, but that's beside the point).
After much debate, and asking our waitress if this whole substitute thing was legit, I decided to go with the Bleu Ribbon Burger. It was really good! Heck, even the onion bun was good!Bleu cheese, onion straws, lettuce, tomatoes, chipotle mayo...mmmmmm! With all of that in just the burger, the bottomless steak fries were an afterthought (which explains why I only had two - though they were yummy too).
Fact: The bourgier the burger, the more toppings. This automatically means you're not bourgie if you add anything to it (i.e. ketchup, mustard, mayo), because that's just tacky. Plus, where are you even going to put it?
My grandmother ordered the fish and chips, which were as good as fish and chips anywhere; my brother ordered the Whisky River BBQ Burger; my mom ordered the Bruschetta Chicken Sandwich; and my cousin had the BLT Croissant. Everyone enjoyed their food, as well as the Game Day Nachos. FYI, if you sign up for the customer reward card, you get a free appetizer the day you sign up!
In conclusion, go to Red Robin and love it.
8WGN6YF46FG7
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